Wednesday, 14 March 2007

Something that is consistantly kicking my dog!

While contemplating my next blog I do the only thing to find out what’s going to annoy me and look at! If there’s something that’s going to annoy me Lorraine Kelly will be jabbering on about it.

Anyway it came to me like a wasp which hunts you down just as you settle on your sun-lounger on your first day of your holiday when you’ve just bought a large, colourful, sugary cocktail that it cant resist landing on which scares you, you drop your drink all over one of only a few t-shirts you packed for your two week holiday, ruining it as the last thing you want to do is washing on your holiday, so you have to buy a multicoloured t-shirt with TENERIFE on it and a large, slightly smirking parrot which knows this t-shirt is rubbish! That’s not the topic, but now I’ve lived through that I’m even angrier about today’s gripe which is compensation for NOTHING! Now I’m all for compensation to people how deserve for example a drunk driver knocking someone over or Stevie Wonder driving a bull-dozer and flattens some of your roses on your front lawn. I’m talking about compensation for stupidity. Now I used to be a holiday rep like some of you reading this blog (live the dream!), so I know a bit about people trying to scam companies out of money. The classic I would get is someone coming to see me saying ‘my room is not fit to live in’. I love it when people say that! My retort would be ‘really? Please tell me what is exactly wrong’ and they would immediately burst in to this plethora of problems. ‘The floors are filthy, the paint is peeling off the walls, ants and cockroaches roam around in herds smoking cigarettes, the mattresses are filled with chicken bones, the bathroom is the entrance to hell and the heads of a 1000 sheep are in the wardrobe!’ Some of that is slightly exaggerated, but you get the idea. So I would apologise and say ‘I can’t see how that has happened,’ then the bit they didn’t think you’d do, ‘let me come with you to your room and inspect the problem.’ Then they back out because they know there’s not really all those problems in their room! ‘Well can’t you just give me a report for it,’ they ask to which I smugly reply, ‘no’. Either way I make sure I inspect the room. Now you watch them slowly shrinking up in to a ball as we walk up to their room as they realise they can’t go on watchdog and get a free holiday! Upon entering the room the words they dread, ‘can you show me the problem areas please,’ ‘well there’s some dirt on the underside of the balcony railings outside in the bottom left corner,’ they squirm. ‘Right’ I reply pretending to write something. After finding this dirt with the help of the hubble telescope and a stray paperclip in the lounge, I give them the report they want along with their withered dreams of 2 weeks all inclusive in the Dominion Republic! I leave with a smile and the warming satisfaction that another con artist is put in his place and will be warbling badly to angel by Robbie Williams later tonight in the hotel bar when the karaoke starts.

Doing simple research for today’s blog I type in compensation in to yahoo and searched for just UK results and what do I find…..6,770,000 results! WOW! Loads of companies promising no win no fee claims. I must reiterate that I agree for compensation for when it’s needed, but in today’s society it’s sadly not always warranted. You may have seen that guy on TV that looks like a walrus who says that they’ll do this no win no fee battle for you. One of the examples is a guy who was given the wrong ladder for a job which he fell off grazing his right index finger or something. The main point to flag up is I’m guessing he is experienced at his job and is capable of thought, so if he knew it was the wrong ladder DON’T USE IT MUPPET! I guarantee that the money wasn’t used to ‘help his injuries’ or ‘the cost of treatment’ i.e. a band-aid but, used to buy a car, holiday, 42” LCD TV and monkey butler to serve drinks in his new mansion in the Hertfordshire countryside!

The other advert that I often see is were some OBESE woman (lets not start on that again), who clearly wants a couple of years off work, slip over on some liquid aka her strawberry milkshake with extra fat added or a carton of gravy which she enjoys to sip between snacks! Anyway because of her own stupidity and lack of vision she slips on this liquid, which I'm in no doubt she put there, and hurts her knee. Hurt her knee nothing else, so she deserves £50,000 or something which instead of buying treatment which she doesn't need for her knee or treatment she does need on her brain and more importantly her stomach, she'll buy an all inclusive holiday for her and all her massive mates at bingo!

So that’s my thoughts on undeserved compensation payments. I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for the comments so far. Keep them coming and if you would like to give me a topic to comment on please suggest some to me and I’ll give you another insight to the mind of a ‘possible’ mad man. Thank you.


Anonymous said...

definately as mad as a bag of snakes! anyway, i would really like to hear your views on the the touchy subject of Political Correctness?

Anonymous said...

i agree with you, i guess you had fun while you were out doing your stuff in hot country's.

i hope you didnt rip of the people who you looked after?

what about a topic on mad drivers, as i nearly got hit by one last night, i guess it was a man driving!

Rosanne Sayers said...

Excellent observations!!! The cost of my house insurance is extortionate.

I would love to hear your thoughts on:

1. Treating young offenders to holidays to help with their self esteem
2. Buskers
3. Royal society for the protection of birds
4. Greetings cards / Mothers Day / Fathers Day etc

Gareth said...

Some great suggestions thank you!! I will fit those ideas in to my new blogs. Please keep them coming and put your name on it, if you so wish, so i can see who thinks i'm mad as a swedish potato!

Anonymous said...

I quite agree with you. I am a travel agent for my sins. I have to book and speak to these stupid people before they actually get to you reps on their holiday. A classic is. Where are you thinking of going to? Oh well anywhere hot. To which I reply that anywhere south of Calais is usually pretty warm in August. So you find them quite a few deals, and they usually say.. Oh, I didn't want to go to Spain!!/Greece/Turkey/anywhere that's arab speaking!! But a classic that I love is a customer complaining to a well known holiday organisation that they would never fly with them again to Jamaica because it took 9 hours, but it only took the Americans 3!! Ha ha... enough said...stupid people.... Ithink Channel 4 should do a programme called Customers from Hell. Not tradesmen/plumbers/electricians but customers!! Think it would have to be a 4 hour programme.

Anonymous said...

I think claiming compensation for things is great. So far I have claimed £15,000 and look forward to getting more - you should try it - it's addictive.

I would like to know your views on "THE TAX MAN".

red said...

I think claiming for compensation is great - so far i have claimed £15,000 and looking forward to the next payment. You should try it - it's addictive!

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to the old-fashioned British notion of 'stiff upper lip' and taking it 'on the chin'? My grandfather had wounds from the World War 1 and received compensation money which helped him through the bad times, unemployment, drinking, nightmares, beating his family. But did you ever hear him bleating on and on (except when he was drunk). No. Did he sue the Germans, the British Government, or run to the papers because he hadn't been given a flak jacket (yes I know the hadn't been invented)? When he got annoyed he didn't go on Jeremy Kyle he just strangled the canary (literally, not a euphemism). He just got bitter and then he drank it! MC

Anonymous said...

Let them have the compensation - I could do with the TV sales!!!